Dec 282008

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Dec 282008

Despite all the silly white stuff falling in large quantities from the sky I still managed to get in some good natured holiday fun.

Hosted my own christmas party, affectionally known as XXXmas eve, on the 23rd. Friends farther afield weren’t able to make it but plenty o’ pals close at hand came over to decorate some non-traditional cookies:

Admire my loverly tree…

It looks so normal…until you get up close and see its covered with home-made porn-o-ments…

And then we all curled up on the couch and floor to watch that wonderful heart-warming cinematic chestnut…Bad Santa…

This was probably my forth time watching said flick and it just keeps getting funnier. The boxing scene is still my favorite. Laughed so hard I couldn’t breath. I’m such a sucker for a good sight gag, especially anything involving male genitalia and large amounts of pain. Isn’t that surprising?

Admittedly, it helps to have a room full of goofy pals high on cookies and mulled wine. Still, if you haven’t seen it yet add it to your Xmas list for next year. Just make sure the kiddies(and the easily offended) have gone to bed before you hit play.

No big gift exchange as everyone is feeling the pinch this year. I did however allow myself a small splurge and bid on one of the Strangercrombie auctions with my pals in mind. The auction was named Thirty is Dirty and was to commemorate Madison Market’s(our neighborhood hippie store) 30th anniversary. But the dirty part was what I was after for it included 30 vibrators and a bucket full of brightly colored condoms. Its the gift that keeps on giving with the added bonus of helping out a very worthwhile charity.

I, of course, had to test out one of the vibes…just to make sure they were worth sharing. Though it doesn’t have as many settings as a standard pocket rocket, it certainly gets the job done…and done…and done…and done.

Now thats what I call a merry freakin christmas.

Hope you all had as cheerful a celebration as myself.

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Dec 222008

So I know I’ve been quite absent for awhile. But sometimes you need to get away from the computer and have some adventures. And the last couple of months have seen many. But since I’m pretty much stuck at home entertaining myself like most of snow-bound Seattle this week here’s a quick re-cap for those of you who haven’t seen me in person lately:

Hosted a big crazy Halloween party where this was the belle of the ball:

Probably 60 people showed up over the course of the night and I feel fairly certain that the vast majority of those ended up riding my new toy at some point. I’d purchased it the day before Halloween after a good pal called me from the Capitol Hill Value Village, while he was on it. He wasn’t sure what it was “supposed to be” but what it clearly was, was a sex machine. The above video is the original promotional material but I think this one more fully represents what I’m talking about(totally worksafe):

Next up was a trip to Portland, the goal of which was to have some quality one-on-one time with my peeps down south. My agenda was fully achieved. My only regrets were one missed sexual opportunity(that would have been acted on if I was on my own turf instead of abroad) and that Portland isn’t three hours closer so I can get face time more often.

The following weekend held two notably different but equally significant events. The first was a very important scene with a long time playmate. I don’t do solely cathartic scenes often, and this one was to involve medical role-play, some pretty intense sensation play, and a more formal interaction then my usual sexy Muppet style. I was both excited and apprehensive going into it. But I honestly could not be happier with how things turned out or more proud of my playmate for his bravery both at the time and in how he is working through what came up during the scene. 100% kinky coated awesome.

The other event was celebrating a good pal’s birthday, which has been known to be a painful process for some. To lighten the load of another year passing into dust I organized a small posse of zombie strippers to put a smile on his rapidly aging face. I have to say I’m pretty impressed with my own first attempt at zombie make-up. I might need to do this again at some point in the future. If anyone reading this has a zombie fetish my contact number to set up a session is on my website.

The fun never stops around here and the end of November found me on Orcas Island with a select few buddies, drinking whiskey around a fire, harassing deer, and otherwise communing with wildlife. The San Juans are one my favorite places on this planet and they did not disappoint this visit. I’ll be heading back at the first hint of spring thaw.

Well that almost brings us up to the present. December is usually all about helping folks balance out all those red and green tinged Norman Rockwell moments by giving into their unrepentant kinky little bitch and dirty pervy slut sides, scheduled, of course, around my own holiday obligations. Aside from a lovely bit of play with a few very naughty boys and some spontaneous gatherings with friends and neighbors all this silly white stuff has made a bit of a mess of my schedule. Sure am glad that all my Xmas shopping was done early and/or on-line. I’m excited about what I’ve gotten for all of my friends as well as the small blasphemous soiree I have planned for the night before the night before. Here’s hoping that folks will still be able to make it. I won’t say too much till after the 25th, but hopefully there’ll be more fun photos to share, possibly tomorrow, if I decide the combination of party prep and snow bound stir crazy needs to be shared.

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Dec 142008

“Hey you, expert on all things ass.

I talked to my brother today, and he has been diagnosed w/a slightly enlarged prostate. I suggested he look into the benefits of prostate massage; do you know of any web-sites that you would recommend for someone who is ass shy, but might benefit from this knowledge?

He always thinks he’s dying…some ass shtupping might lighten him up a bit!


Hey Lady.

Glad to help. I think first and foremost the best website I have found
with regard to prostate health is this one:

It gives some great natural remedies and recommendations to not just
keep the P-spot healthy but to also help once any problems have been
diagnosed. I think a key thing is that the recommendations should be
tried way before getting set up on any pharmaceuticals. Specifically
the recommendation of saw pimento berries since the drug that is often
prescribed for enlarged prostates is just a scary chemical version(with
lots of scary side-effects) of this simple natural substance.

Its also worth checking out if all he’s really suffering from is a zinc

And eat more tomatoes!

There are a bunch of other websites out there that have to do with
prostate health but almost every other one I found was all about meds
and surgery. There is NO reason to go all nuclear when subtle
adjustments to ones life will do the trick.

Whether a man has been diagnosed with a problem or not, the best thing
he can do for long-term prostate health is to give it the love it
needs. As not just a gland but a muscle the prostate requires regular
exercise. Use it or lose it has never been more true.

As long as he is having orgasms on a regular basis(at least 3-4 times a
week) he’s getting a reasonable amount of exercise. But there certainly
isn’t any harm in a daily work-out routine.

I would think it was a no brainer but his doctor might not have pointed
out the necessity of regularly flushing out the prostate(ejaculating)
since the medical establishment is all too often squigged out by sexual
topics. Basically, the material that creates the ejaculate is collected
from many places in the body. Given the amount of toxins the modern man
is exposed to environmentally as well as from his diet, this increases
the likelihood that some of the ingredients for that happy juice might
be carcinogenic. The lining of the prostate is not as hearty. as say,
your stomach lining. Mostly because it was never designed to be a
long-term storage unit. By cleaning house as often as possible you
avoid giving that questionable material a chance to do any damage.

Direct prostate massage has the added benefit of making sure that your
purge is complete and mighty. Much like any athlete will benefit from
regular massage to insure that their bod is meeting its full potential.

And done well it feels AWESOME!!!!

This site has great info on how to get started with anal play. The only
thing I would add to the recommendations they provide would be: Probe,
thick and rich, is a great lube for anal play; Latex or nitrelle(sp?)
gloves can be nice whether its your fingers or someone else’s as are
condoms on any toys that aren’t hard plastic(much easier to sterilize);
and a gentle enema a couple of hours before can be an easy way to get
over any weirdness over how “clean” you are.

The Anerous is a great toy for men just starting to explore anal play.
It works very well as a solo play toy, though having an audience can be
fun too. I’d recommend he start with the smaller size(MGX), which will
still provide a good amount of P-spot stimulation but is less intense
then some of the more advanced ones.

The beauty of the above anal play advice is the potential energizing
effect it can have on all of his sexual activities. The simple act of
bringing in some new games, as well as all the conversations around
such additions, have been known to add more then a few sparks to a
romantic fire that may have been aloud to damper down to coals.

M Katherine aka The Ass Bandit

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