May 302008

So last week I attended another kick-ass CSPC conversation salon hosted by the always amazing team of Allena(CSPC director) and Teri(Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living) . Much inspiring and amusing talk was bantered about. But even though having an open conversation about sexual issues is still somewhat revolutionary in this day and age, this particular chat was considerably more political than usual.

Last week’s topic was sex work.

Now this was a meeting of mostly like-minded sex positive folk. So it shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise that almost everyone present, at the very least, knew someone who is or had been in the sex industry. And depending on how you defined said industry, the number of us who could count ourselves among the workers went up considerably.

This last bit, what defines sex work, was a significant part of the discussion and was one of the motivators for Teri and Allena choosing the topic. Over the last few months Teri, a major warrior in the battle for sexual freedom, has recently been targeted by a group of bigoted, sex-negative, ass-hats.

I’d posted a while back about the Kinky Carnival. That was Teri’s baby. The event was a great sexy success by all reports. But leading up to the event the afore mentioned group of ass-hats had tried to shut it down by claiming that Teri was a known prostitute and that she was also a madam(prostituting others). Teri is not what most working girls would call a “pro” not by a long shot. She is a counselor and an educator specializing in sexual issues. But she is notably nonjudgmental of those of us who are, by more classic definition, sex workers. I strongly suspect that this openness is one of the factors that has made her a target. She is incredibly vocal about her sex positive views. She refuses to sit down and shut up like these neanderthal throw-backs would like to see all women, queers and kinksters do.

On some level, I understand that the enemy is acting out of feelings of self-loathing, trying to attack characteristics in others which they don’t have the balls(or ovaries) to accept in themselves. But all universal love aside, I really don’t care how hurt, scared and broken these fuck-wits are. If you wanna be self-destructive have at it! But when you start spewing your toxins on others, actively trying to destroy another human being’s life and livelihood…first against the wall in the revolution, baby.

I like to think that America is making progress, if for no other reason then because I see it in my “work” every day. I may not be as public a figure as Teri and Allena, but I do feel that I’m fighting the good fight, one closeted kinkster at a time. Someone I was playing with recently got onto the topic of societal evolution. He was considerably less optimistic then I and feels that real change only happens when the older more conservative people in a society die off.


Every once in awhile I’ll play with a baby-kinkster. While I may jokingly use this term to describe a playmate in the their early twenties it often is inappropriate as a definer of their experience. Kids today aren’t just kinky folks, they’re cool with their kink. The internet has removed so much of the stumbling around in the dark many of us had to do as we tried to figure out what all these strange thoughts and feelings meant. But the point and click generation has had the immediate accessibility of alterna porn and fetish based google groups from the get go.

I’m happy for them…most of the time. But like much older feminists have felt toward their younger sisters, I hope they appreciate the struggles that other generations have had to suffer through. I hope they recognize, as should we all, that without women like Teri and Allena, trailblazers who refused to stay in the shadows despite the opposition, well, even the world wide web wouldn’t be big enough to shelter us.

We can never afford to take liberty for granted, especially as it extends to our bedrooms. I challenge you to be as vocal as you can about what turns you on. Don’t let the close minded among us have the false comfort that sex positive, kinky people are “other people”. Make them see that WE are all around them. And if that simple societal pressure of “I guess it is the norm” isn’t enough then let THEM be forced into silence by our numbers.

I’d like to end this rant with what I feel are the very appropriate words(lyrics actually, though you probably know the poem that inspired them) of another. And if you think my fears are exaggerated, well, maybe you should have been at last weeks conversation salon.

“First they put away the dealers,
keep our kids safe and off the street.
Then they put away the prostitutes,
keep married men cloistered at home.
Then they shooed away the bums,
then they beat and bashed the queers,
turned away asylum-seekers,
fed us suspicions and fears.
We didn´t raise our voice,
we didn´t make a fuss.
It´s funny there was no one left to notice
when they came for us.”

NoFX, 2003 from the album War on Errorism

Any love, energy and/or funds you can spare to send in Teri’s direction is sure to be appreciated:

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May 292008

Much personal goodness has been going on in my life lately that I keep meaning to post about but its hard to find the time with all the afore mentioned good stuff going on.

But I wanted to give a quick shout out for this event:

My incredibly talented friend Syren is holding a fundraiser event THIS SUNDAY for her dance company’s up-coming performance. Here’s what she has to say about it:

“Accelerant: Fuel For Ignition”

A casual benefit and silent art auction for Open Flame Dance Theater ( featuring:
– A special preview by members of the company
– Musical Guests Pete Bush, Mars Saxman and Dept. of Energy.
– Art by: Sharon Arnold, Todd Gardiner, Amy Linder, Margot Lovinger,
Molly McKeown, Bruce McLean, Tim Summers and Everett Wellman.

All ages/ No Cover

Sunday, June 1, 7:00PM to 11PM
Ouch My Eye Gallery
1022 First Avenue South, Seattle

Please come and support us in any way you can! Proceeds from the bar, silent auction and raffle go directly to the company. Contributions or donations are not necessary to attend the event. Under the fiscal sponsorship of Allied Arts, all contributions are tax-deductible.

This is sure to be a fun eclectic crowd. And while not necessarily a kinky event, when I’m there you can be certain that at least one conversation you could eavesdrop on will involve anal play.

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May 092008

This post is a bunch of general announcements and news that has been gathering up over the last week or so like dust bunnies in corners. So here’s me sweepin things out.

First an event announcement. I may be attending this event tomorrow night:

It depends entirely on if I’m able to talk any of my posse into joining me and IF the obligatory Mom’s Day visit out at the homestead doesn’t leave me completely wiped out. But I’ve heard lots of great things about this event and it’s sure to be tons of sexy fun. If you don’t have plans, you should check it out. It’s sort of a buffet of kink. They’ve even got the 10 minutes with a Domme sample platter. Right between the cold cuts and the seafood salad.

Next up…PRETTY!! My Eliza Valdez photos have arrived. I’ve got a lot of framing to do which might happen this weekend. And then I’ll post pictures of all the art in its new home. I knew they’d all be beautiful but seeing them to scale and on extra shiny paper…just wow.

Other fun on-line purchases that arrived recently:

Been bad? Need to be spanked?

I found Paddle Daddy quite awhile back. At the time I took special note of the fact that he had paddles made out of Madrona. But upon a return visit to his site a few months later, no such luck. I’d emailed him my interest and he got back to me with a promise to let me know just as soon as he got some Madrona wood in stock. He only works with salvaged wood which was a key element in my willingness to purchase anything made out of a tree that I hold sacred. Well, a month back he emailed me with the good news. So now this lovely piece of craftsmanship has joined my very large percussive toy family. I even got a chance to break her in a few days ago with a new playmate who was in need of some birthday spankings. Lucky for me he had many years to commemorate. Lucky for him he has a high pain threshold.

Anyhoo, Paddle Daddy rocks! In addition to top quality hand-crafted paddles, he also creates some of the sexiest dungeon furniture I’ve ever seen as well as some very classic leather daddy type slappers, collars and slings. And with it all comes impeccable customer service. Can’t recommend him more highly.

And then…Titties!

These were something I’ve been wanting to get for a while now. I think the only thing that has kept me from doing so is that a number of the boys-who-like-to-dress-like-girls that I play with already have their own. And of course now that I own the damn things I wish I’d picked them up sooner. So if you’re into feminization I am very much in the mood. They feel so wonderfully life-like…all thats missing is body heat.

This next toy is just for me:

After my fabulous pod-cast conversation with my good pal Valerie(see last post) I revisited her website and spent some time on her toy review page. We had talked about the Hitachi Magic Wand during our pod-cast and both of use had mixed feelings regarding the so-called “Cadillac of Vibrators”. I can’t use it for direct clit stimulation which is my preference. But it does an almost too effective job of getting me off when I use the Gonzo like sleeve attachment. And though it’s too much vibe for my tender clit, it can be fun to use torturing other peoples happy bits. It’s a great toy to use on boys. Just press it up against the taint and give their prostate a buzz.

So even though I have found other uses for my Hitachi I was intrigued by her description of this space-age looking adapter. I’ll post my opinion once I’ve given it a few test drives. But at the moment I’m…opptimistic.

Speaking of boy bits, ya’ll know how much of a cheerleader I am when it comes to boys getting in touch with their p-spot. Well, while shopping for toys for my own happy parts I noticed that The Stockroom has the Anerous toy(which I recommend and link to on my website) on sale at the moment. Take it as a sign from what ever god you believe in that now is the time to buy:

Also coming soon(heh heh heh), my review of the movie Lars and the Real Girl, the wonderfully graphic novel trilogy Lost Girls, and Fetish 101 by Czernich. I’m also back to writing my own porn so hopefully I’ll have some of that up soon too. And I still owe Hypnox that labia post…guess I’m just saying bookmark this blog as I’ve got lots more fun stuff on the way.

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