A little while back I got an email from a young man who wanted to see me. Nothing too out of the norm there. It was just how very young he was that gave me pause.
As I get older myself seeing anyone under thirty has started to feel more than a bit like Mrs Robinson.
“Why yes, you silly young thing, of course I’m trying to seduce you.”
But sometimes recognizing how many men, of all ages, have the fantasy of being seduced by the more experienced, confident and worldly older woman makes it seem like a no brainer, especially for someone interested in exploring their submissiveness.
Add to that my own early explorations with men who were much older than me, a fetish that continues to this day, and a certain quid pro quo comes into play as well.
But even my capacity to porn up a situation and/or play into some karmic “pay it forward”ness felt a bit stretched when considering whether or not I should see this notably young man.
So very glad I overcame my own agist tendencies and trusted in his ability to know what he was getting himself into…in so much as any of my playmates ever truly understands the lasting effects of a fantasy becoming reality experience.
Here are some very sweet words from a very sweet boy regarding a memorable moment for us both:
“After I processed our appointment, I wrote this as a journal entry:
I went to a professional dominatrix.
Even saying that seems odd to me. I don’t know that many people in the community. In fact, in practice, I am completely new. I worry, does that reflect poorly on me? That I went and paid someone to do something I should have done the work to build with someone else? I worry that maybe I may seem a pretender to veterans of the community, someone who took a shortcut. But I don’t want to lie. I did it, and it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.
I think it may have been something I needed. Before Sunday, I did not think I was handsome. I did not think I was a catch. I let my insecurity trap me in a relationship that was not good for me before, something I should have felt was less than I deserved. I feel confident. I have something to offer. I am a good guy, I really am, and I shouldn’t have to parse and cower and bend myself to be someones ideal partner when I am ideal for myself already. I always read about being who you are in a relationship, but I don’t think I knew what it meant before.
Never before have I met someone so wise. I have always considered myself smart and a bit worldly, but I had nothing on her. She understood people inside and out, and saw right through my intellectual bluster to see how truly young I really am. And she was protective. She talked at great length about the community I am now a part of, and of my worth in it. She talked of safety, both physical and emotional. She talked of communication. She talked of the bravery it takes to find someone else to play with.
And the scene, something I had never experienced with another person right there, was beyond incredible. My submissiveness was so very confirmed. It is a part of me, and it felt so right. And I am GOOD at it. I have self control, I have an open mind, I have discipline and I have endless amounts of affection to give. She showed me that I need to place value in my submission, and that it is the dominant who should prove that they are worthy of it.
And even then it was educational. She helped me understand my body, and how it reacts, how things feel. In the vast sea of kinkiness, I now have a flag I can plant, giving me my bearings. I have a better understanding of what I really need in a scene, and what I could actually go without.
Because that was what she was to me, a teacher and a guardian. She was no fake. She was authentic and experienced and definitely a proud member of the community. I think she wanted to help me avoid the awful mistakes many new members make, help me find my happiness.
So yes, maybe I did cheat a little and cut ahead. I learned the power of consent. I learned the bravery of submission. I learned my value. I feel more ready for the world than I ever have, so judge not. I am ready to play.
You gave me confidence I didn’t know I had, and showed me my value. Thank you so much. You are an incredible woman.”
I may have started off this encounter feeling like a chicken hawk. But after receiving this lovely email I felt as warm and fluffy as…